I am so sore today! I had 3 people in class last night (pretty good number for the Wednesday crowd), we worked really hard and had so much fun. I think they enjoyed it and I hope they come back every week. I realized last night when I was driving home that I did not drink any water at all yesterday. Is that horrible or what? I usually do really good with water. I have no idea what I was thinking yesterday. Today I plan on drinking a lot more...
I have been so busy at work today and I love it. There are two doors to this office down here and people walk in and out like they own this place....so I am trying to solve this little problem. I closed one door and it seems to help a little. Every now and then some bozo will still open it, but I always make sure to close it back. Maybe I should start locking it. (I won't though. I really don't want to make anyone mad around here.) I hate cell phones. My boss called me twice today asking me to dig up some old reports and I had to ask him to repeat himself about 3 times. I just hope he doesn't think I was not paying attention...
I have made yet another decision for this weight loss journey...I am going to measure myself. waist, hips, arms, legs, etc... I NEED to lose some actual weight but I know that if I track the inches as well, I might keep myself motivated. I measured myself right when I started working out with a personal trainer and never took new measurements. Hopefully I can find that old stuff so I can post that and the current measurements. Sounds weird but today I actually feel toned. I know that stuff like that doesn't happen over night but I feel good today. :)
I think I'm going to heat up my veggies and lean pocket. I just started buying the just for one frozen vegetables and I like them a lot. I've tried the broccoli & cheese and the Italian seasoned broccoli and carrots. If you do weight watchers-both of these are zero points. Not sure about the lean pocket though.....
Funny side note-I work for a company that sells drilling chemicals to to oil companies. I keep up with all the engineering information. I print off well reports and do daily and weekly reports. blah blah blah...to the point now. There is a well we have going on right now called Woolley and every morning when I get the email I start singing that song "she's a wooty. A white girl with a booty" It is horrible. I have only heard that song one time, but it is stuck in my head forever. And until this Woolley well closes, I will probably sing it every single stupid day! argh
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
I ate a cheeseburger :'(
Why? I don't know. I enjoyed it while it lasted of course but I felt immediate guilt afterwards. I felt horrible. I have been so good lately. Well, with food anyway. Mom and I aren't walking this week...she is out of town. I am stressed/tired with all this work junk. bleh. I know-it is just an excuse and I have been making enough of those lately.
I almost weighed myself last night. I wanted to cheat and see if I had maybe lost anything, but I didn't. Go me! I hope tomorrow is not super depressing. Maybe I will sweat enough of it off tonight and tomorrow night in class that I will lose something.
I only drank 2 diet sodas yesterday. One at lunch and one last night after class...and dang, there was actually one yesterday morning. UGH! UGH! UGH! What am I thinking?!
I really hope work gets someone in here to take my place by the end of November. That will be lots of money saved (the only reason I stayed after my wonderful incident) and will give me a month(before school starts) to get into a gym with a personal trainer again. I was really seeing results when I worked with a trainer and I don't mind spending the money on that kind of thing. I used to spend it on junk food every single day so how bad can it be?
Work update-big boss called yesterday to speak with the woman and she obviously didn't look happy. I have no idea what is going to happen around here. I am calm about it all though. I prayed about all of it and all I can do is sit here and keep doing my job. And that is what I will do.
Tonight I teach aerobics in Gilmer. This class is practically dwindling away and I was about 1 click away from removing it from our schedule. Last week only one participant showed up and was thanking me so much for having class. She said that she has felt so good the past month that she has been working out at our gym and would love to see more classes. I told her that we needed to get some more people in there to keep the class. As I was pulling out the parking lot she flagged me down and said she talked to 3 ladies in the gym who said they would come if we bumped the class to 6. WOW! Talk about proactive. I love that she has the drive to workout. She did not have to talk to anyone and she did. I wish I had that motivation to work out more. And obviously I can't cancel the class after that. So now I think I will embrace the task of getting more people in there.
Starting at 6 means I will be late to Institute (church) but I guess late is better than never. I went for the first time last week and felt so good. It has been so hard to make myself go on Wednesday nights but once I was there, I knew I was supposed to be. So another goal of mine is to go every week even if I am late. And I also want to make sure I read the assignments every week. Guess what?! I read more than half of it already. I will probably read some more at work today. Not the best atmosphere to study the scriptures, but it will do.
Mom comes home tonight. I am very excited about seeing her. Dad and I have been alone at the house and it has been so quiet. My mom is not noisy herself....its just that she keeps the tv turned on and loud lol.
I am in serious blog mode...I usually don't have that much to say but yesterday and today's entries look like novels. I won't bore you anymore with my mundane life ;) Plus, I have to get back to my "petty" job of printing stuff! I wouldn't want the woman to get upset with me ;) lol
I almost weighed myself last night. I wanted to cheat and see if I had maybe lost anything, but I didn't. Go me! I hope tomorrow is not super depressing. Maybe I will sweat enough of it off tonight and tomorrow night in class that I will lose something.
I only drank 2 diet sodas yesterday. One at lunch and one last night after class...and dang, there was actually one yesterday morning. UGH! UGH! UGH! What am I thinking?!
I really hope work gets someone in here to take my place by the end of November. That will be lots of money saved (the only reason I stayed after my wonderful incident) and will give me a month(before school starts) to get into a gym with a personal trainer again. I was really seeing results when I worked with a trainer and I don't mind spending the money on that kind of thing. I used to spend it on junk food every single day so how bad can it be?
Work update-big boss called yesterday to speak with the woman and she obviously didn't look happy. I have no idea what is going to happen around here. I am calm about it all though. I prayed about all of it and all I can do is sit here and keep doing my job. And that is what I will do.
Tonight I teach aerobics in Gilmer. This class is practically dwindling away and I was about 1 click away from removing it from our schedule. Last week only one participant showed up and was thanking me so much for having class. She said that she has felt so good the past month that she has been working out at our gym and would love to see more classes. I told her that we needed to get some more people in there to keep the class. As I was pulling out the parking lot she flagged me down and said she talked to 3 ladies in the gym who said they would come if we bumped the class to 6. WOW! Talk about proactive. I love that she has the drive to workout. She did not have to talk to anyone and she did. I wish I had that motivation to work out more. And obviously I can't cancel the class after that. So now I think I will embrace the task of getting more people in there.
Starting at 6 means I will be late to Institute (church) but I guess late is better than never. I went for the first time last week and felt so good. It has been so hard to make myself go on Wednesday nights but once I was there, I knew I was supposed to be. So another goal of mine is to go every week even if I am late. And I also want to make sure I read the assignments every week. Guess what?! I read more than half of it already. I will probably read some more at work today. Not the best atmosphere to study the scriptures, but it will do.
Mom comes home tonight. I am very excited about seeing her. Dad and I have been alone at the house and it has been so quiet. My mom is not noisy herself....its just that she keeps the tv turned on and loud lol.
I am in serious blog mode...I usually don't have that much to say but yesterday and today's entries look like novels. I won't bore you anymore with my mundane life ;) Plus, I have to get back to my "petty" job of printing stuff! I wouldn't want the woman to get upset with me ;) lol
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
rawr..this one is long
SO I weighed myself on Thursday night. I pretty much freaked out. I gained back about 7 pounds this past month because I quit teaching aerobics. Serves me right though. I knew I should have just made it work with my schedule. I really don't want to put my weight on here but I will give you the last digit until I'm ready to admit all three numbers. :( It ends in 7. So hopefully this Thursday it will end in 5 or less ;). I will def let you know...
Thursday night I taught kickboxing at the Quitman gym, weighed myself, and then rode one of the bikes for about 15 minutes. It started storming but I figured it would pass over quickly...boy was I wrong. I drove home in the rain (not too bad) without any problems until about a 1/2 mile away from home. There was a huuuge tree down in the road. I was so ticked off...this happens ALL the time where I live but I was so ready to get home and sleep! I turned around to try and different way home and found more trees. I get no service out where I live so I found a 'tree-free' zone to try and send a text to my sister, who lives about 30 miles away from home, to tell her to inform my parents that I was trapped. Then I prayed that the text went through and prayed that I would make it home safely. I'm happy to say that I made it home okay after about 2 hours of driving around. Thank goodness I filled my car up that day ;)
Friday morning was possibly one of the most horrible mornings ever. I learned something from the experience but it sucked while it lasted. A woman that works for the the company I work for (she is from the main office in Louisiana) told me she was packing up my office to move me. I told her that my boss needed to approve it and then I would move. She pulled the honey card...ugh! 'Honey, I don't need permission. This is my job.' Actually, no. It is not her job to play musical office chairs. I told her I was not moving and she started in on me. She told me my job was unimportant and that I needed to get up. 'You do petty shit like answer the phones and print stuff.' Excuse my language by the way. I am quoting her so you can feel my annoyance. I honestly had no idea what to say. I am not confrontational in any way and I had no comeback. As soon as she left...I cried my eyes out. I emailed my boss to tell him I was sick and I left at 9:15. Did I mention I got there at 8:30? I decided to quit Monday morning and came in to talk to my boss around 9. He apologized personally and for the company and told me to take the day off, with pay, and think about staying. So, here I am. At work. Blogging. The only reason I stayed was because of 1.) money and 2.) my boss Mike. I am still leaving in January to go to school but I will be sticking around until then.
School...I am NOT moving in January. I talked to advisor yesterday and decided that it will be better if I stay one more semester at TJC. I will be graduating with an Associate of Arts Degree in Teaching by the end of summer. woot woot. Kind of slow but I'm okay with that. I took this semester off and have 4 elective classes (which is basically another semester) so I am technically right on schedule. ;) This will give me more time to really pick a school and a place to live. I also want more time to figure out my school finances.
another good thing-I opened a savings account. My grandparents have been nagging me about opening one but I never have the time. So yesterday, while I was being paid to hang out, I took care of it. I am planning on being more organized with money, time, exercising, work, myself!, school, and everything else involving me! Selfish, I know :) lol.
I know this is waay too much info. I just felt the need to blog it all out. I am feeling pretty good today even though my work situation is not the best. I won't be here for much longer so I can endure it. I will endure it! and I will enjoy the money. After all, that is all a job is...kind of. ;)
oh yeah...the company blocked facebook from the computers :( Kind of sad, but I wasted too much time on there anyway. Oh yeah...my computer got fried in the storm last week. I have an extended warranty on it, so hopefully I will get it up and running again. I hope. Oh yeah, I am loving Lois and Clark. I will definitely be purchasing the rest of the series. I love Superman. I also got my 75 cent movie in yesterday. half.com is so addicting. Oh yeah..just wanted to say it again since I said it about 4 times.
Weigh-in in two days! argh :( scary....
Thursday night I taught kickboxing at the Quitman gym, weighed myself, and then rode one of the bikes for about 15 minutes. It started storming but I figured it would pass over quickly...boy was I wrong. I drove home in the rain (not too bad) without any problems until about a 1/2 mile away from home. There was a huuuge tree down in the road. I was so ticked off...this happens ALL the time where I live but I was so ready to get home and sleep! I turned around to try and different way home and found more trees. I get no service out where I live so I found a 'tree-free' zone to try and send a text to my sister, who lives about 30 miles away from home, to tell her to inform my parents that I was trapped. Then I prayed that the text went through and prayed that I would make it home safely. I'm happy to say that I made it home okay after about 2 hours of driving around. Thank goodness I filled my car up that day ;)
Friday morning was possibly one of the most horrible mornings ever. I learned something from the experience but it sucked while it lasted. A woman that works for the the company I work for (she is from the main office in Louisiana) told me she was packing up my office to move me. I told her that my boss needed to approve it and then I would move. She pulled the honey card...ugh! 'Honey, I don't need permission. This is my job.' Actually, no. It is not her job to play musical office chairs. I told her I was not moving and she started in on me. She told me my job was unimportant and that I needed to get up. 'You do petty shit like answer the phones and print stuff.' Excuse my language by the way. I am quoting her so you can feel my annoyance. I honestly had no idea what to say. I am not confrontational in any way and I had no comeback. As soon as she left...I cried my eyes out. I emailed my boss to tell him I was sick and I left at 9:15. Did I mention I got there at 8:30? I decided to quit Monday morning and came in to talk to my boss around 9. He apologized personally and for the company and told me to take the day off, with pay, and think about staying. So, here I am. At work. Blogging. The only reason I stayed was because of 1.) money and 2.) my boss Mike. I am still leaving in January to go to school but I will be sticking around until then.
School...I am NOT moving in January. I talked to advisor yesterday and decided that it will be better if I stay one more semester at TJC. I will be graduating with an Associate of Arts Degree in Teaching by the end of summer. woot woot. Kind of slow but I'm okay with that. I took this semester off and have 4 elective classes (which is basically another semester) so I am technically right on schedule. ;) This will give me more time to really pick a school and a place to live. I also want more time to figure out my school finances.
another good thing-I opened a savings account. My grandparents have been nagging me about opening one but I never have the time. So yesterday, while I was being paid to hang out, I took care of it. I am planning on being more organized with money, time, exercising, work, myself!, school, and everything else involving me! Selfish, I know :) lol.
I know this is waay too much info. I just felt the need to blog it all out. I am feeling pretty good today even though my work situation is not the best. I won't be here for much longer so I can endure it. I will endure it! and I will enjoy the money. After all, that is all a job is...kind of. ;)
oh yeah...the company blocked facebook from the computers :( Kind of sad, but I wasted too much time on there anyway. Oh yeah...my computer got fried in the storm last week. I have an extended warranty on it, so hopefully I will get it up and running again. I hope. Oh yeah, I am loving Lois and Clark. I will definitely be purchasing the rest of the series. I love Superman. I also got my 75 cent movie in yesterday. half.com is so addicting. Oh yeah..just wanted to say it again since I said it about 4 times.
Weigh-in in two days! argh :( scary....
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
the weather is AMAZING today
It feels like Fall and I am so happy. I love when it starts to cool down. I love the colors. I love yamboree time. I love football. I love half time! I love the wind. I love the sounds. ooh I just love leaves. I love light jackets. This time of year I am always happiest. I met the ex-boyfriend this time last year (we broke up by the end of Winter. I was getting depressed again and I think it was just too much for him), met Edward Cullen (started reading Twilight) this time last year, was losing weight (had a personal trainer), had a great schedule, I worked out more often, and just felt good! Today is a nice weather day.
I woke up at 430 yesterday morning and today to walk at the track with my mom. Have I ever mentioned that my mom is an amazing person? She always listens to me complain about how unhappy I am with myself and is so patient with me 'finding' myself all the time. She also encourages me to better myself and keep trying. That woman amazes me all the time. I am so blessed to have her.
We decided Sunday night that we would start getting up early to walk the track at the high school everyday. Monday morning I woke up very excited about getting in some exercise to jump start my day. And really, I felt amazing all day. I had more energy than usual and I only gave in to one coke all day! I couldn't believe how amazing I felt as I fell asleep last night, then...this morning came. I turned off the alarm and had every intention of sleeping until 7 when I heard mom in the kitchen. I feel good about myself for getting up and exercising but I am EXHAUSTED. I am fighting sleep more than I ever have in my life. I want to pass out on this floor right now...even though that is highly not recommended because of all the chemicals that come in and out of this place. I hope some energy kicks in before I have to drive to Quitman to teach aerobics. However, I am really excited that I am getting two workouts in today!
I have to stop getting on ebay and half.com. I have an addiction to movies and books. I want to have an amazing library one day and I feel like a 75 cent book is just what I need to get started. Someone take my debit card and hide it! I really am trying to save for the big move in January. I know that I will have to get a job regardless of how much I save, but geeze I love to spend money. Big move is still undecided as far as the location. Sam Houston was 100% last week and now I am really interested in SFA again. Why must decisions be so hard? I know that I will finish school no matter where I go, but I want to make the right move for me. I have a deepest darkest desire, but I don't want to throw it out there yet. ;)
Life is good. I am so happy that I am going to school in January. I am excited about moving out of my parent's house for a little while and excited about losing weight. Having direction is a big part of who I am and I am so glad that I have some goals. I am such a nerd when it comes to that kind of thing. Betty Boyd (who was my YW president) told me one time that a goal is not a true goal until you write it down-so, here is me writing it all down for ya!
First set of goals are the daily/weekly goals.
1. Walk every weekday morning with mom.
2. only drink 1 soda a day (this will be hard. I usually drink about 4 or 5)
3. practice twirling fundamentals every other day
4. Attend Institute every Wednesday
Second set are the short term goals. I want these completed within the next two weeks. October 9th to be exact.
1. finish filling out FAFSA information so that I can fill out some loan applications
2. complete a loan application
3. lose 3 pounds (healthy weight loss is 2 pounds a week so I'm going with the happy median)
4. Apply to at least 1 school. (possibly 2)
And now for the fun ones. The long term goals. (long can be weeks, months, years, etc...)
1. lose 30 pounds by January 1st. (that is actually a little more than 2 pounds a week but I'm doing it!)
2. make straight A's for the rest of my college career.
3. Get re-certified to teach group exercise (within the next year)
4. be a certified teacher (no more than 3 years from now)
5. get married, have kids, the whole 'American dream' thing ;)
I think this is a little lenghty, but it will be fun to read if you are bored. I know it kept me from falling asleep at work!
I woke up at 430 yesterday morning and today to walk at the track with my mom. Have I ever mentioned that my mom is an amazing person? She always listens to me complain about how unhappy I am with myself and is so patient with me 'finding' myself all the time. She also encourages me to better myself and keep trying. That woman amazes me all the time. I am so blessed to have her.
We decided Sunday night that we would start getting up early to walk the track at the high school everyday. Monday morning I woke up very excited about getting in some exercise to jump start my day. And really, I felt amazing all day. I had more energy than usual and I only gave in to one coke all day! I couldn't believe how amazing I felt as I fell asleep last night, then...this morning came. I turned off the alarm and had every intention of sleeping until 7 when I heard mom in the kitchen. I feel good about myself for getting up and exercising but I am EXHAUSTED. I am fighting sleep more than I ever have in my life. I want to pass out on this floor right now...even though that is highly not recommended because of all the chemicals that come in and out of this place. I hope some energy kicks in before I have to drive to Quitman to teach aerobics. However, I am really excited that I am getting two workouts in today!
I have to stop getting on ebay and half.com. I have an addiction to movies and books. I want to have an amazing library one day and I feel like a 75 cent book is just what I need to get started. Someone take my debit card and hide it! I really am trying to save for the big move in January. I know that I will have to get a job regardless of how much I save, but geeze I love to spend money. Big move is still undecided as far as the location. Sam Houston was 100% last week and now I am really interested in SFA again. Why must decisions be so hard? I know that I will finish school no matter where I go, but I want to make the right move for me. I have a deepest darkest desire, but I don't want to throw it out there yet. ;)
Life is good. I am so happy that I am going to school in January. I am excited about moving out of my parent's house for a little while and excited about losing weight. Having direction is a big part of who I am and I am so glad that I have some goals. I am such a nerd when it comes to that kind of thing. Betty Boyd (who was my YW president) told me one time that a goal is not a true goal until you write it down-so, here is me writing it all down for ya!
First set of goals are the daily/weekly goals.
1. Walk every weekday morning with mom.
2. only drink 1 soda a day (this will be hard. I usually drink about 4 or 5)
3. practice twirling fundamentals every other day
4. Attend Institute every Wednesday
Second set are the short term goals. I want these completed within the next two weeks. October 9th to be exact.
1. finish filling out FAFSA information so that I can fill out some loan applications
2. complete a loan application
3. lose 3 pounds (healthy weight loss is 2 pounds a week so I'm going with the happy median)
4. Apply to at least 1 school. (possibly 2)
And now for the fun ones. The long term goals. (long can be weeks, months, years, etc...)
1. lose 30 pounds by January 1st. (that is actually a little more than 2 pounds a week but I'm doing it!)
2. make straight A's for the rest of my college career.
3. Get re-certified to teach group exercise (within the next year)
4. be a certified teacher (no more than 3 years from now)
5. get married, have kids, the whole 'American dream' thing ;)
I think this is a little lenghty, but it will be fun to read if you are bored. I know it kept me from falling asleep at work!
Friday, September 25, 2009
pizza, coke, and candy=devil
I am in a rotten mood today. I was trying to figure out how to get email notifications from my blog when I stumbled across the 'blogs of the day' or something like that. I started reading one...ex hot chick and fell in love with this girl. I only read a few entries, but realized I have a lot of similar feelings about myself and my weight problem. So how come I sat here reading her blog while eating possibly the greasisest slice of pizza on the planet? Did I mention I ate peanut m&ms right after the pizza? :( oh, and I am STILL sipping on a coke even after getting myself all worked up.
I have made myself completely depressed about my weight for about 3 years now. It has slowly gotten worse and I have made up my mind to lose the weight about 17 thousand times. I always say, 'I am for real this time, mom. I am tired of being the fat girl'...then I go to my room and watch tv for a few hours, only taking breaks to pee, fill up on dr. pepper, and eat something. How pathetic can I get? When I was in high school, I believe my sophomore year, that I would not be the fattest girl on the majorette line. Guess what? I totally was. I wasn't even that big that year but I sure put on the weight over the next two years.
I am sick of being like this. And am also sick of people saying that I am not fat. I am fat. BMI calculations say obese. So, yes. I am fat. And I do not want to be fat. I do not want to accept that I am just bigger than other girls. I do not want to just get over it. I want to lose the weight.
I have made myself completely depressed about my weight for about 3 years now. It has slowly gotten worse and I have made up my mind to lose the weight about 17 thousand times. I always say, 'I am for real this time, mom. I am tired of being the fat girl'...then I go to my room and watch tv for a few hours, only taking breaks to pee, fill up on dr. pepper, and eat something. How pathetic can I get? When I was in high school, I believe my sophomore year, that I would not be the fattest girl on the majorette line. Guess what? I totally was. I wasn't even that big that year but I sure put on the weight over the next two years.
I am sick of being like this. And am also sick of people saying that I am not fat. I am fat. BMI calculations say obese. So, yes. I am fat. And I do not want to be fat. I do not want to accept that I am just bigger than other girls. I do not want to just get over it. I want to lose the weight.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
oh how fast things change...
I am now working full time. 8-5 every single stinkin day. Now I totally want to go back to school. And I will.
The Visiting Teaching message this month was a serious answer to my prayers. I keep saying that I am wasting my time at school if I do not have a decided major or career goal but the truth is, gaining knowledge is what is important to me. I honestly do not care if I go to school for the rest of my life and never find the 'perfect' career. This is a quote from Robert D. Hales (of the Seventy) that I absolutely love (it was the silent answer to all my prayers about school)
“Lifelong learning is essential to the vitality of the human mind, body, and soul. It enhances self-worth and self-actuation. Lifelong learning is invigorating mentally and is a great defense against aging, depression, and self-doubt.”
Does it get any better than that? I need to feel confident in myself and learning is something that has always made me feel good. And who doesn't need a good depression fighter every now and then? If you know me at all, then you know that I am not happy all of the time and fight with negative thoughts about myself all the time. I am starting to feel very strongly about going back to school even if I take 'pointless' classes. Bring on the knowledge!
I really don't know what else I wanted to blog about. I just felt so full and needed to release some positive energy into the world.
oh yeah, my brother in law is FINALLY back home. He has a valid visa and can now live here legally. Saturday morning was a wonderful morning. I, of course, cried like a baby when Tony finally acknowledged LaLo. It was so sweet and such a happy moment. I pray that he never has to go back to Mexico unless it is for pleasure.
Baby sister Erica is in college! She is twirling at Kilgore and I can not wait to watch her perform. She is so pretty. I just don't know how we are related! lol jk. I know that she is nervous about school, but I know that she will do fine. She is smart and can do anything if she doesn't stress herself out too much. I am so glad that she decided to twirl. I hope she appreciates the experience and enjoys it.
Twirling at Kilgore reminds me of the year that I tried out. I HATE admitting this to anyone but it is a wonderful memory that I will keep forever so I want to share it. I was at my private twirling lesson when my friend Sarah Hill called and told me that I should try out the next morning at Kilgore. I didn't really want to do it. I had not submitted an application and had not practiced at all for their tryout. I didn't even consider twirling there, or anywhere, until she called. I woke up the next morning and drove to Kilgore to meet up with her. We had a fun day. We made fun of each other, made fun of other girls, smiled, laughed, talked about boys I'm sure, and twirled our little hearts out. 25 girls tried out that day and Sarah and I were 2 of the 5 that did not make it. Sooo embarrassing. (this is why I do not tell people I even tried out) I still think to this day that she should have been on that line. She was grouped in a call back group and I just knew that she was going to make it. Her smile was completely contagious and she just had that amazing glow and personality that should be on display. Really. She was truly a beautiful girl. Sarah was in a car accident and passed away on January 8, 2009. I miss her and think about her all the time and every single time I think about Kilgore College Twirlers I remember Sarah.
So this was not on my agenda to blog about her, but there it is. One of my favorite memories. Now I have to get back to reality and do some work even though I would love to be at home.
Hope all is well with everyone :)
The Visiting Teaching message this month was a serious answer to my prayers. I keep saying that I am wasting my time at school if I do not have a decided major or career goal but the truth is, gaining knowledge is what is important to me. I honestly do not care if I go to school for the rest of my life and never find the 'perfect' career. This is a quote from Robert D. Hales (of the Seventy) that I absolutely love (it was the silent answer to all my prayers about school)
“Lifelong learning is essential to the vitality of the human mind, body, and soul. It enhances self-worth and self-actuation. Lifelong learning is invigorating mentally and is a great defense against aging, depression, and self-doubt.”
Does it get any better than that? I need to feel confident in myself and learning is something that has always made me feel good. And who doesn't need a good depression fighter every now and then? If you know me at all, then you know that I am not happy all of the time and fight with negative thoughts about myself all the time. I am starting to feel very strongly about going back to school even if I take 'pointless' classes. Bring on the knowledge!
I really don't know what else I wanted to blog about. I just felt so full and needed to release some positive energy into the world.
oh yeah, my brother in law is FINALLY back home. He has a valid visa and can now live here legally. Saturday morning was a wonderful morning. I, of course, cried like a baby when Tony finally acknowledged LaLo. It was so sweet and such a happy moment. I pray that he never has to go back to Mexico unless it is for pleasure.
Baby sister Erica is in college! She is twirling at Kilgore and I can not wait to watch her perform. She is so pretty. I just don't know how we are related! lol jk. I know that she is nervous about school, but I know that she will do fine. She is smart and can do anything if she doesn't stress herself out too much. I am so glad that she decided to twirl. I hope she appreciates the experience and enjoys it.
Twirling at Kilgore reminds me of the year that I tried out. I HATE admitting this to anyone but it is a wonderful memory that I will keep forever so I want to share it. I was at my private twirling lesson when my friend Sarah Hill called and told me that I should try out the next morning at Kilgore. I didn't really want to do it. I had not submitted an application and had not practiced at all for their tryout. I didn't even consider twirling there, or anywhere, until she called. I woke up the next morning and drove to Kilgore to meet up with her. We had a fun day. We made fun of each other, made fun of other girls, smiled, laughed, talked about boys I'm sure, and twirled our little hearts out. 25 girls tried out that day and Sarah and I were 2 of the 5 that did not make it. Sooo embarrassing. (this is why I do not tell people I even tried out) I still think to this day that she should have been on that line. She was grouped in a call back group and I just knew that she was going to make it. Her smile was completely contagious and she just had that amazing glow and personality that should be on display. Really. She was truly a beautiful girl. Sarah was in a car accident and passed away on January 8, 2009. I miss her and think about her all the time and every single time I think about Kilgore College Twirlers I remember Sarah.
So this was not on my agenda to blog about her, but there it is. One of my favorite memories. Now I have to get back to reality and do some work even though I would love to be at home.
Hope all is well with everyone :)
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
quick summer update
I am at work and should be working, but I am blogging instead.
This summer has been amazing so far. I got a temporary job, I went to Six Flags, saw a few bands at a few concerts, saw my future husband Jesse McCartney (lol) signed up for Mary Kay, tried to rekindle a relationship with an old boyfriend (that is a total hunk btw), got Blue October tickets for my birthday, got rid of a few friends (kind of miss them even though its better this way), got closer to some other people (and excited about hanging out with them more often!), will hopefully be purchasing Secondhand Serenade tickets this week, decided to take a mini-break from school, and have started to truly embrace a blessing that I have ignored for too long!
I have a few complaints about this summer, but all the good things cancel them out by far.
This job has been so fun and I have enjoyed the cash A LOT! I blow it just as fast as I make it, but it has worked out for me so far. Last week Nicole quit working here and everything changed. I am not loving it here like I did before. I do not want to rush into any decisions just yet, but I am pretty sure that I am leaving within the next couple of weeks. Maybe Nicole babied me too much lol!
I don't think I have ever blogged about my boo, so here it goes! Tony is a mess. I love that boy more than I have ever loved anyone. He is sweet and charming and not even 2! (sometimes he is a toot though) His smile could brighten any one's day and the way he says flower is too precious. I care about that boy so much, and it is hard for me to imagine what I will feel like towards my own children.
School is kind of an awkward subject for me because I chose not to sign up this semester. I feel a little...well I don't even know how I feel about it. Maybe embarrassed because I do not want people to think I am a loser for not going. Maybe scared that I won't go back in January. Maybe a lot of things that I can't begin to explain. However, I honestly don't feel like it is what I am supposed to be doing right now so I am trying not to experiece any feelings of grief at this time. (maybe in a few weeks I will)
I miss my best friend Abbey oh so much! {yay for you coming home soon}
My plans after this job include, but are not limited to,-----working for dad full time, exercise exercise exercise (and finally dropping that 50 pounds...only 40 more to go), selling a whole lot of Mary Kay, renewing my group exercise certification, getting things lined up for school in January, visiting Abbey in Austin ASAP, planning a lot of good activities for the YSA, and just being happy some more!
Now, I really have to get back to work, but I felt like it was time for an update so enjoy!
This summer has been amazing so far. I got a temporary job, I went to Six Flags, saw a few bands at a few concerts, saw my future husband Jesse McCartney (lol) signed up for Mary Kay, tried to rekindle a relationship with an old boyfriend (that is a total hunk btw), got Blue October tickets for my birthday, got rid of a few friends (kind of miss them even though its better this way), got closer to some other people (and excited about hanging out with them more often!), will hopefully be purchasing Secondhand Serenade tickets this week, decided to take a mini-break from school, and have started to truly embrace a blessing that I have ignored for too long!
I have a few complaints about this summer, but all the good things cancel them out by far.
This job has been so fun and I have enjoyed the cash A LOT! I blow it just as fast as I make it, but it has worked out for me so far. Last week Nicole quit working here and everything changed. I am not loving it here like I did before. I do not want to rush into any decisions just yet, but I am pretty sure that I am leaving within the next couple of weeks. Maybe Nicole babied me too much lol!
I don't think I have ever blogged about my boo, so here it goes! Tony is a mess. I love that boy more than I have ever loved anyone. He is sweet and charming and not even 2! (sometimes he is a toot though) His smile could brighten any one's day and the way he says flower is too precious. I care about that boy so much, and it is hard for me to imagine what I will feel like towards my own children.
School is kind of an awkward subject for me because I chose not to sign up this semester. I feel a little...well I don't even know how I feel about it. Maybe embarrassed because I do not want people to think I am a loser for not going. Maybe scared that I won't go back in January. Maybe a lot of things that I can't begin to explain. However, I honestly don't feel like it is what I am supposed to be doing right now so I am trying not to experiece any feelings of grief at this time. (maybe in a few weeks I will)
I miss my best friend Abbey oh so much! {yay for you coming home soon}
My plans after this job include, but are not limited to,-----working for dad full time, exercise exercise exercise (and finally dropping that 50 pounds...only 40 more to go), selling a whole lot of Mary Kay, renewing my group exercise certification, getting things lined up for school in January, visiting Abbey in Austin ASAP, planning a lot of good activities for the YSA, and just being happy some more!
Now, I really have to get back to work, but I felt like it was time for an update so enjoy!
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